Opinion : The conversation from behind the wheel of snow plows

There really is a pole under this mailbox in Vinton...

How high is the snow in Vinton? Up to the mailboxes after the streets are plowed.

We, at Vinton Today, appreciate the work of our snow plow drivers. We wonder what they must think when they look at how the snow civilians respond to a big storm.

Like this, perhaps?

* * * * *

"What a night, been at it for 14 hours!" Gus said.

"Ain't never seen this much snow in the last 20 years, can't wait for that global warming to kick in," Hank replied

"Some idiot decided he could get down the block before I did, of course he got stuck, so I just went around 'im and left 'im in a 6 foot pile of snow, he ain't goin' nowhere for a few hours. That'll teach 'im to try and outrun a plow!" Buzz added.

"These cameras all over town are the best thing since sliced bread! 'Hey, Gary, over on 4th St., we have a live one. Just heading back to the house, driveway all cleaned out. He thinks he's DONE shovelin. Go get 'em!'"

Cheers went up as they raised their mugs of hot chocolate in a toast and watched Gary drive his plow around the corner pushing yet more snow into the poor man's drive.

"Breaker 1-9, how's that look, my Fellow Frostys?"

Loud applause, followed by a groan.

"Uh-oh, here comes the TV camera's! Gary, you got eyes behind ya, make sure to turn around and do the other side, make it look like an accident."

"Flip it to 7, hurry up here comes the cute blonde and her microphone. Look at her in those high heel boots, city slickers...there she goes, she's down. ew, right in a snowbank!"

"I never did understand why they dress like a model to cover a storm, driving around in their street warrior trucks, did you see one of them landed in the ditch earlier this year, trying to show us how bad the roads are, bunch of nincompoops."

"Yep, got a son in the business, says they can't simply say it's snowing out there and have folks believe 'em. They gotta have pictures. You'd think these yahoos would just look out the window, but noooo they gotta see it on TV to believe it!"

"Hush there it is, hehehe, it's on the news -- the last guy who just finished his driveway."

‎ "I had just finished shoveling the last remnants of snow from my driveway when suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw it," said Weary Shoveler Ron, "A large yellow beast with its huge curved jaws roaring as it pushed through the snow. My heart jumped in horror at this monstrosity bearing down on me. I could see its rider's eye's gleam in fiendish delight as my driveway once again was buried in white pain. Oh the humanity..."

The model with the high heels and hair covered in snow said, "And that was Ron, a brave citizen,who just finished shoveling his drive in this deadly snowstorm. Reporting live from Vinton, I'm Sandy."

Another roar as other drivers looked up at the TV in their break room.

"Yeah! We got another one!"

Later that night, in front of the TV, Hank makes a call.

"You go Gary, you made it on the news!"

Gary chuckles and replies, "Well, I hope they got my good side."

* * * * *

Okay, that's not REALLY happening I'm sure, but after shoveling for hours, you are SURE that they guys in the plows are part of some conspiracy to make sure you are back out there again! Seriously, thanks to all you guys for the long hours you put in clearing the roads...

Thanks for

---putting up with all of us idiots that think we can get through a foot of snow before you do, then end up in your way!

---dodging all those TV trucks out there showing all of us that it's really bad out there.

---thanks for doing this year after cold, snowy year, so that we can all travel safely where we think we need to go.

You're a great bunch of guys, and hey, if you ever get those camera's hooked up, well, we probably deserve all the tricks you can play on us!

Thanks once again, for a job well done guys!