Opinion : Pastor\'s Blog: FORGIVENESS...Forgiven...Forgiving

Ever feel like you screw up constantly- like all the time? That’s my world. Days come and go, and it feels like I’m still the same loser I was last year. Maybe you can relate. And it wouldn’t be so bad if I lived alone, without anyone to hurt. But like everyone else, I’m surrounded by people- family, church family, friends, and neighbors- and for me, that means trouble, big, big trouble. Let’s just say that I’m used to asking for forgiveness. Just ask my closest friends- they’ve heard me beg their forgiveness at least a dozen times- last week. And when they forgive me, I feel the burden of my wrongdoing lifted away and peace rush back into my heart like the rising of the ocean’s tide. I’m not sure why this is, but I don’t hear about forgiveness very often. Really, the only time I ever here the word is when someone has offended me and ask me to forgive them. Even this is rare, but I think the world at large has forgotten the word and its meaning. Then again, maybe they haven’t. Maybe the world has forgotten about forgiveness because we’re used to air-brushing our offenses and excusing them as ‘mistakes’ (as if that made the people we’ve hurt feel any better since they’re only ‘mistakes’). Or maybe it’s because we’ve gotten so used to living in a fast-paced, ‘peace-less’ society where our hearts never really feel peace or rest; and so when we do offend people, it’s slides in the greater background of our noisy lives and remains unnoticed, unfelt, and undetected. And even if it’s possible we don’t feel this way, we assume they do, and so excuse ourselves of the need to seek their forgiveness. Maybe some people have dismissed it as a ‘religious’ and therefore ‘out-dated’ word that belongs in the empty pews of empty churches. Or perhaps forgiveness is not so much an outdated religious word but more belongs to some ancient, pre-historic era where people said ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and ‘Yes sir’ and ‘Yes ma'am.’ Well, I suppose we could go on guessing the rarity of forgiveness for the rest of forever- but here’s my take in it. Wrapped up in the idea of forgiveness is the idea of sin, an offense, a crime. We probably don’t like to think of it this way, but the truth is, we all sin- yes, every one of us. And sin means broken relationships. Let me illustrate. When I was a younger hooligan, I broke my parents rules- all the time. Their gray hair testifies I’m telling you the truth. One rule I broke repeatedly was using my dads tools without asking his permission and ‘forgetting’ to put them back in his giant toolbox. My dad noticed this offensive pattern when he found his otherwise-shiny pliers lying out in the grass with a light coating of rust on them. Another time, he nearly mowed over his ball-peen hammer into splinters sending the hammer’s head into my neighbor’s Camry because I had left it in the yard somewhere. I’m sure you get the picture- my relationship with my dad was more broken than anything, and it was my fault because I had disobeyed his command and had dishonored his specific wishes. You see, that’s what happens when we sin, when we offend people- it results in broken relationships. Let me get into your heart for a second, okay? How many broken relationships do you have in your life right now? Seriously- I want you to answer the question- how many? Jot their names down somewhere...

Now, is it possible that those relationships are broken because you’ve offended them in some way? Think hard. If you’re not sure, ask God to help you remember. If you remember that you have or may have either offended them or contributed in some way to breaking your relationship with them, the best thing you could do right now is go to them ask them to forgive you. Even if you’re unsure whether or not the reason your relationship together is broken because of you, it’s better to talk to them in person, than to avoid them further and live with a guilty, joy-less soul. Why wait any longer? I’ll never forget the time someone came to me years ago and asked for help. She described an awful situation where she had literally destroyed someone’s life through a series of verbal attacks and smear campaigns. She felt badly about the whole thing- especially since it was many, many years ago, and their relationship was broken, if you could even call it a relationship. I asked her if she had ever gone to the person she offended and sought their forgiveness. I knew she hadn’t- she didn’t need to tell me that. I could tell that she had avoided seeking forgiveness and that was the reason why she suffered from peacelessness, joylessness, and perpetual guilt. I encouraged her to do the hard thing she feared- asking forgiveness. Sadly, I have no idea whether or not forgiveness was sought, or granted. One thing I know is true: that God wants us to forgive and seek forgiveness. Here’s how He says it: “be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Eph 5:32 NLT. So, the fix-all for broken relationships is forgiveness. Where there is much forgiveness, there you’ll certainly find healthy relationships. Now, look back at the list you made a few moments ago. Even if you’re unsure if you are the reason the broken relationship exists, it won’t help your situation any by remaining silent. Find them, visit them, discuss your relationship- who knows, maybe you’ll walk away with the peace that’s been missing from your heart, the peace that forgiveness always brings. “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.” Colossians 3:13a Praising the LORD for FORGIVENESS, Pastor Zach