While teaching my kids to drive, I tell them, “You sometimes have the right of way. You always have the right to get out of the way.”

This lesson also applies to life -- and the big story in the national news this week.

But first, a personal example:

It was 1989, maybe 1990. Early summer. While still waiting for my dream job in journalism, I was working the second shift at Iowa Ham Canning in Independence. I lived a few blocks away from work and several blocks away from Veterans Park, along the Wapsipinicon River. I often would go to that park late at night – midnight, maybe, or even as late as 1 or 2 a.m.

One of the nice things about small town living is that you can – virtually at any time -- do this safely. I never worried when I went to the park that I would not be able to go home safely.

Except once.

One night, it had been raining, with a bit of thunder and lightning, so instead of getting out of the car and walking around the park or sitting on a bench by the river, I just sat in my car in the parking lot.

A few minutes after I arrived, I saw in my rear view mirror about four or five squad cars pull up in front of a house across the street. Several officers began walking around, looking for something – or someone.

One of them spotted me and walked over to my car. I put the window down.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Sitting in my car,” I replied. “I just came back from the store, where I bought diapers. I came here for some time to be alone quietly.” I patted the package of diapers as I spoke.

He was not interested in diapers. He had a question.

“You haven’t been running through this neighborhood knocking on doors, have you?”

No, I replied.

What I thought was, “Seriously? I have a full-time job, a part-time job and two toddlers at home. I have nothing better to do with my time than run through my neighborhood in a thunderstorm, knocking on doors?”

But I only said, “No.”

Apparently I looked dry enough to be believable.

The officer then asked me to leave the premises.

He didn’t have the right to ask me to leave. I was on a public street. I was doing nothing wrong.

But I left.

I was exercising, in terms of citizenship, my right to get out of the way.

That is a right two men in Florida failed to exercise on a dark night, and it led to tragedy.

It’s hard to take sides in the George Zimmerman/Treyvon Martin case, even after the not guilty verdict, because just about everyone involved, starting with Zimmerman and Martin, did and said things that are indefensible.

Zimmerman was wrong in the first place. Although hardly anyone in the news has said this, Zimmerman failed miserably in the very first duty of a “Neighborhood Watch” participant: He did not bother finding out who his neighbors are.

He also erred, it seems, in his initial conversation with Treyvon Martin.
The entire incident could have been avoided if Zimmerman had cordially greeted the teen said, “Hey, I am from the Neighborhood Watch. Is everything OK?”

But he didn’t.

Martin, likewise, could have responded to Zimmerman by saying, “Hey, I am just walking to my dad’s place. It’s right over there.”

But he didn’t.

Everyone knows what happened next, while we may never know for certain which percentage of blame each deserves for the conflict that escalated until one of them was dead and the other bleeding from his head.

This whole case isn’t about hoodies, gun rights, gun control, "standing your ground," or whether the President’s son would look like Treyvon Martin.

It’s not even about an “unarmed child” being shot. Our society shoots unarmed children just about every day, and very few of their names ever fall from the President’s lips, or make it to network TV news. I think every one of those children who is killed deserves at least one moment in the national spotlight. I also think the killing of our children will continue until each murdered child gets his or her moment in the spotlight and enough Americans start asking why we are killing so many of our kids and what must we to to make the killing stop.

If I had a grandson, he would probably look like Antonio West Santiago.

You don’t know who that is? Look it up. Then after you find out about this innocent, unarmed child who was killed by a suspect of another race, and you want to blame “the media” for not telling you about it, I won’t take it personally.

The Zimmerman-Martin case is all about knowing, remembering, and fulfilling our obligations as a citizen.

My obligation that summer night 20-some years was to give up a tiny portion of my rights and leave an area where officers were investigating a report of a crime. It was, of course, a bogus, if sincere, report, filed by some nervous goof who can’t tell the difference between thunder and a knock-knock joke.

But yielding my ground was the appropriate thing to do. That officer, though in error, wasn’t trying to violate my rights; he was just trying to figure out if something evil was in progress. And there were several other public parks available if I still wanted to go to them.

By leaving, I was making his job, and my life, easier.

If George Zimmerman and Treyvon Martin had exercised some of that deference, that putting the good of another person ahead of one’s own, the teen would still be alive, and the man would be anonymous. And our society would have one less unnecessary scar on our history of racial relations -- and a lot less mindless political blabbering and media hand-wringing.

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BT July 15, 2013, 4:26 pm Now THAT is JOURNALISM in my book!! Well done!
lf July 15, 2013, 4:42 pm I think it was good appraisal of the situation. Thanks. Loel.
JF July 15, 2013, 7:51 pm Well said Dean. You need a like button!
LH July 15, 2013, 8:12 pm Just wanted to say very well said and what has worked for me is \"if there is going to be trouble don\'t be part of it\"
GS July 15, 2013, 11:52 pm Excellent perspective.
SN July 16, 2013, 10:08 am Does anyone actually think that any of this case would have made national news if the teen wasn\'t black? I don\'t think what Zimmerman did was justified, but I do believe that it would have only been local news in that area had the teen not been black. This is how our society works this day and age. I don\'t make the rules. There are just some areas of some towns that are just not safe to walk around in. It\'s up to everyone to know where they are, and realize that although they have a RIGHT to walk there, its just not a smart thing to do. I don\'t think I would walk around the SE side of Cedar Rapids at night. I should be able to if I so choose, but I know how things work. This is the country we live in, and I think most folks would agree that I, as a white male, would be foolish to walk around the SE side alone at night. I agree with you regarding the \"right to get out of the way\". I would rephrase it a little however....People should be smart enough to know better.\" This doesn\'t mean he deserved to be shot, just that it wasn\'t a smart move to be there. Similar to motorcycle helmets. Is it smart to wear one? Absolutely ! But I have the right to ride without one if I so choose. If I have an accident and mess up my squash, it is not Harley Davidson\'s fault, its not the State\'s fault for not having a helmet law...its my fault for making the decision to not wear a helmet. We should not count on the government, or police, or neighborhood watch programs to protect us from ourselves. We all have the right to make choices. And that\'s how it should remain. People just need to make smarter choices. When they don\'t, and they are hurt, they should not be allowed to sue a manufacturer, or the State, or city government for \"allowing\" it to happen.
RS July 16, 2013, 1:15 pm Steve,
You seem to place much of the blame on Trayvon Martin because in your words, \"There is some areas of some towns that are just not safe to walk around in.\" But Trayvon had every right to be in that gated neighborhood because if my memory is correct his father lived there or some other relative. He went to get Skittles and a drink. When is that behavior not allowed in this gated community? There are many things wrong with this tragic case from Zimmerman following Trayvon when he was told not, to the police not doing a thorough investigation before releasing Zimmerman, the \"Stand you ground\" laws that gives protection of liability for someone to claim that they felt they are in danger and can just shoot anyone, including someone not armed. (I know stand your ground was not entered as a defense but the stand your ground legislation has many components that restrict the ability of police to arrest someone and the legal ramifications there after.) Stand your ground effected even how the jury was given instructions when they deliberated. But your thesis that Trayvon Martin used poor judgment in going to a convenience store is just not so. We can debate the rest of this case but on that point Trayvon did nothing wrong and has the same right to go to a convenience store as anyone else in that neighborhood. Dean-your article was good in laying out the unfortunate circumstances of this case.
PM July 16, 2013, 3:51 pm Rosemary,

It looks like the SIX Jury members ALSO blamed Treyvon Martin...HE had drugs in his system, HE was part of the bad neighborhood.
RS July 16, 2013, 8:15 pm Trayvon Martin was not on trial. He was the VICTIM and he is dead while George Zimmerman walks free. You can argue semantics all you want but that fact remains the same. Since when do we blame the victim for their own death. Where does his parents go for that? And just because Zimmerman was not found guilty in a trial does not change the fact that the whole thing could have been avoided if he had not followed Trayvon. Once he did that when he told not to, it is Zimmerman who is responsible for the happened which left a 17 year old dead. I have felt that from the beginning the guilt is with Zimmerman not his victim.
MM July 16, 2013, 11:21 pm Very well said, Dean. You are a fine journalist.
JZ July 17, 2013, 4:37 pm Thanks for a new, thoughtful, perspective. None of us will ever know exactly what transpired.
JZ July 17, 2013, 4:44 pm Although on the other hand, since when have we expected teenagers to understand the finer points of safety? I\'m guessing there are a lot of places that weren\'t so safe for Trayvon. Should he just stay home 24-7? Science tells us people\'s brains mature from back to front, and risk taking is resolved in a frontal lobe... at age 25 the brain is finally mature. Walking in a certain neighborhoood... well, hard to make that an issue.
DS July 18, 2013, 2:40 pm Both persons made mistakes but only one of them broke the law. Being dead doesn\'t automatically qualify you as the victim. Since Zimmerman was acquited of all charges then it is safe to say Zimmerman was the victim and the attacker is dead.
DC July 18, 2013, 3:20 pm http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-57576112-504083/antonio-santiago-shooting-suspects-in-georgia-babys-murder-face-first-court-appearances/

Where is the outrage in the major news media? Why aren\'t Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and our president speaking out on this terrible deed?
JW July 20, 2013, 11:48 pm Well articulated, Dean. Thank you for sharing your experience and perspective. There were no winners in this situation, only the \"talking heads\" and blathering politicos who gained air time. Oh, it hurt my ears!
RS July 22, 2013, 2:06 pm There is video and the transcript from Republican Joe Scarborough this morning. Take the time to listen or read the transcript.
http://egbertowillies.com/2013/07/22/joe-scarborough-slams-sean-hannity-for-response-to-obama-speech-video/
JZ July 22, 2013, 7:08 pm Where\'s the outrage when the shoe is on the other foot... this guy has a story too:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/23/nyregion/23trial.html?src=tp&_r=1&

Man Convicted for Shooting Teenager - New York Times
www.nytimes.com
Ending a racially charged trial, John H. White, a black man, was found guilty of manslaughter ....

PM July 22, 2013, 7:33 pm In each of the other cases mentioned here, do we believe in our justice system to get it right or don\'t we? Do we take the public opinion over the law? Do we test the direction of the wind to decide verdicts in each case? No. In each case a jury decides who is right and wrong, it\'s NOT decided by popular vote! I like to think should each of us be called to jury duty, we leave politics aside, our personal feelings and simply judge according to the law, who no doubt was done in each case. Politicians and celebrities need to stay out of the spotlight in these cases and let the justice system do it\'s job.
RS July 22, 2013, 10:06 pm Patty,
Juries do not always get it right. Look at OJ or Casey Anthony. Go back in the not so distant past when all white juries routinely found white murderers of black people not guilty. Emmett Till and Medger Evers has been brought up this past week. I disagree with those who equate Trayvon Martin to those but the fact that all of these murderers were set free my supposed fair juries shows that sometimes the system gets it wrong. What about all the people of all colors who are innocent but found guilty and are either spending the rest of their lives in prison or have died because of capital punishment but innocent. Now that is an injustice. Juries do get it wrong. Juror 37 of the Martin case basically did an interview last Monday saying her mind was made up before she heard the evidence. How she ever got on that jury is beyond unless she lied about her opinions before the trial. I have no way of proving this but since there was a supposed book deal in the works until the publisher got cold feet, that juror made herself appealing to be picked for the express purpose of writing a book and cashing in. Why else would she be on TV less than 48 hours after the verdict talking about a book deal and then being rebuked by the other jurors? To make the system better, when the system gets it wrong, we, as citizens and society have a duty to challenge what is wrong to make it better. Justice delayed is justice denied. If society did not challenge how the court system was handling down their verdicts, those all white juries of the pre Civil Rights era would not have changed. Our government our court system is our responsibility to seek and demand change. That is what true citizenship is all about.
PM July 23, 2013, 9:23 pm I\'m sorry that you feel that you can\'t trust the justice system Rosemary, but I think, even when I don\'t understand why they decided the way they did, that probably I didn\'t see or hear something that they did. But remember, there was more than one juror on this jury...
SN July 27, 2013, 1:42 pm Rosemary,
I did not mean to assign any blame in this case. My point is that Mr. Martin might have been better off taking a different route for his Skittles. He had every right to be where he was, you are correct. We all have the right to go most anywhere we like, but that doesnt mean we should, for safety\'s sake. Im not saying he deserved to be shot or even questioned about being where he was, but there are just some things, although perfectly legal, are not a good idea.
MM July 29, 2013, 7:18 pm Smart article, it speaks to me in the two paths I\'ve taken in my life. The initial way I choose led me down a road as a pretender, it ended in divorce and financial debt. My new direction still can have storms but I love it. Tenth Avenue North discusses the two different roads we find ourselves on throughout the album, \"The Struggle.\" Check out these lyrics from \"Torn.\" \"I\'m tired, I\'m worn - My heart is heavy - From the work it takes - To keep on breathing - I\'ve made mistakes - I\'ve let my hope fail - My soul feels crushed - By the weight of this world - And I know that You can give me rest - So I cry out with all that I have left - Let me see redemption win - Let me know the struggle ends - That You can mend a heart that\'s frail and torn - I want to know a song can rise - from the ashes of a broken life - And all that\'s dead inside can be reborn - \'Cause I\'m worn \"