• Article Photo. Marilyn Katcher and Thomas Patterson were charged with criminal offenses after breaking the recycling rules
    Marilyn Katcher and Thomas Patterson were charged with criminal offenses after breaking the recycling rules
  • Article Photo. One of the county's most wanted makes her way into the courthouse.
    One of the county's most wanted makes her way into the courthouse.
  • Article Photo. The county can't say they didn't warn you
    The county can't say they didn't warn you
  • Article Photo.


Newsitorial, When News Requires Snark

Updated: For the record, no individual officers or departments are to blame, they are just doing their jobs. 

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The Benton County Supervisors—otherwise known as the three wise men sitting at the head table—have once again taken my breath away with their brilliance and their tough-guy approach to county government.

Because apparently, when a recycling bin is overflowing, the logical solution isn't to empty the bin.

Nope.

It's to make criminals out of senior citizens.

Congratulations, gentlemen. You managed to turn an 84-year-old woman into a legitimate criminal.

What terrible, hardened criminals are we talking about?

Meet Marilyn Katcher, 84, of Vinton.

I spotted her walking into the courthouse and immediately knew something was suspicious. She had that criminal look about her. Sure enough, she was one of them.

Her cover story is that she volunteers at Showers of Blessings. But don't let that fool you. Marilyn was caught leaving a toy at the recycling location because it wouldn't fit in her recycling bin at home—and the county bin was full.

Clearly, a menace to society.

Then there's Thomas Patterson, 70, of Vinton. These two could be the modern-day Bonnie and Clyde. Thomas spends his days pretending to care about the community, hanging around the food pantry and collecting empty water bottles. Then, under the cover of daylight, he takes them to the county recycling bin.

And when the bin is full? He might leave them there. The horror.

Then we have Dana Jumper, 78, who plays the role of a pastor's wife on weekends. But apparently, once she's outside those church doors, all bets are off.

Dana's husband, Reverend Richard Jumper, may actually be the ringleader in this operation. He asked her to haul away yard waste. She went on autopilot and took it to the place she regularly takes recycling.

No doubt she thought she was helping. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished.

Dana doesn't even have a speeding ticket on her record. She skipped right past the minor offenses and went straight to becoming a criminal because she "knew not what she did." I could "leaf" it there, but honestly, I have to ask: WWJD?

Congratulations, Benton County Supervisors. Only you guys could turn a 78-year-old pastor's wife into a criminal.

Then there's Jeff Silberger, the young whippersnapper of the group at just 54. Jeff apparently believes those little triangle arrows printed on containers mean you're supposed to recycle things. Crazy, I know.

So he loaded up his recyclables, took them to the recycling bin, discovered it was full, and left them there. Like most people, he apparently assumed the recycling crew might eventually pick them up.

But nooooo. That's not how it works.

The price of failing to put the recycling inside the already-full recycling bin? $180.

Of course, you can fight it. But then there are court costs. You can hire an attorney. More money. You can really fight the law—and the law can win—with a possible $75 stay at the Benton County Jail Bed and Breakfast, plus $300 for the lovely inconvenience known as bail.

Katcher, Jumper and Silberger paid the fines and just wanted the whole mess behind them. Katcher, at 84, said going to court would simply be too much pressure for her. And that made me angry. At 84 years old, volunteering in the community, she should be getting an award—not a criminal record.

Patterson, however, intends to fight it. He believes, like I do, that perhaps a warning might have been appropriate before handing criminal records to senior citizens.

What a hairbrained idea.

And here's the thing: much of this could have been avoided if someone had simply taken out the trash.

It's well known that the recycling bin is frequently full. Perhaps one of our three wise men could have driven across town, checked the situation, or looked at security footage before deciding the best solution was to criminalize the people trying to recycle, which in these cases are elderly.

But by golly, Benton County has stepped up to the plate. They want you to know who's boss.

Is a criminal record really what we're going for? Or could we empty the recycling bin?

Right now, it appears we're choosing the option where we fine senior citizens, make sure their blood pressure medication is working, and potentially threaten them with jail because they didn't know what to do with recycling when the county bin was running over.

I'm just a woman reporter person here, but perhaps we should assume that the grandpas and grandmas of this community are generally trying to do the right thing. Gently point them in the right direction. Issue a warning, once at least.

Explain where the yard waste goes if we need to.

But seriously, just empty the recycling bin.

Do better.

Wait.

I think I've said that before.